“I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings. And coming down is the hardest thing. I’m learning to fly, around the clouds. But what goes up must come down.”
Lyrics from ‘Learning To Fly’~Tom Petty
We all want to fly. Whether literally, or figuratively. Our spirit’s yearn for freedom to express ourselves authentically. Without inhibition, fears, or oppressive external forces holding us back. We often believe ourselves to be living authentically, only to discover maybe we really weren’t. Maybe we were living a facsimile version of who we really are. A version painted for us by other people’s ideas and notions about who we are or ought to be.
Either way, we go from being a new born, to a toddler crawling about, always being driven forward to take the next step. To reach up and out. It’s the natural flow of energy of the liver organ system, according to traditional Chinese medicine, or TCM. Like new shoots breaking through the dirt, seeking expansion up and out, towards the light.
Once we are walking, discovering new territory, we yearn to learn about what is beyond our current boundaries. Eventually we develop dreams. Sometimes, are dreams include taking flight ~ literally or figuratively. Sometimes we simply let loose and fly in our dreams.
Many people learn to give up on any hopes of flying as the ‘burdens’ of life begin to compress down upon us. Mortgages, bills, mouths to feed all begin to make us feel the ‘gravity’ of life. Pulled down, and getting heavier and heavier.
Our dreams of flight become shadowy memories of who we once were. To avoid feeling the pain of having tabled our dreams, or better said, from having tucked our spirit’s yearnings deep into the drawers of our psyche, we simply go numb, or forget they ever existed. The ‘fanciful’ notions of youth.
Sometimes it can feel as if the only major wars to have occurred have been the ones between our minds and our hearts. Thoughts fueled by those notions of who we are, and what the world is about, spoon-fed to us since birth. Thoughts versus these inexplicable feelings that come and go, but never really completely go away. They are sort of nagging, yet not. Subtle, yet after a while ~ not. Actually, the longer ignored, the stronger they seem to get.
Sometimes those feelings take on different guises. An accident, major illness, loss of loved ones or pets, or other ‘crisis’ events become stronger and more persistent. We re-hab, and go back to business as usual. Our previous set points for what we (subconsciously) allow in, and believe (subconsciously) we are worthy of receiving.
Other times, it can feel as if we’ve been fighting for our life. Literally like a fight against life, for life. Fighting against the crazy backwards way things are in life to breathe life into our lives. And while we haven’t completely abandoned our dreams, it sure as hell seems as though they are continually just beyond reach.
Perhaps we just need to go back to the drawing board, and re-learn how to crawl. Maybe life forced us into crawling, such as an injury that makes it nearly impossible to stand without excruciating pain. Pain in the back, pain in the knee, all the parts of our body that bare our weight. That deal with the ‘gravity’ of life. Or, perhaps a pain in the heart. Pain from yet another seeming set back. Disappointment after disappointment is enough to shatter one’s spirit, and scar the heart.
How do we keep reaching towards the light? How do we hold steady to our dreams of flight?
There are no real answers. Except that in life, sometimes we have to learn how to crawl. Again, and again, and again. Crawl, or give up, which hopefully is not an option. Crawling may seem debilitating, but not nearly as much as going cold and despondent, and surrendering over one’s will and spirit. That’s a slow, agonizing path to the grave.
You can always learn to fly, even when you ain’t got wings. Even if all you do is fly in your mind’s eye, never let your spirit fall into false notions of gravity. Never forget who you really are.
Let the tiny glimmer within shine just enough to help you look for ways to make crawling be cool. Like having your spouse crawl under you, and together you can crawl like a caterpillar across the floor. And laugh. Or cry.
“Laughing and crying, you know it’s all the same release.” ~Joni Mitchell
In the moment you do either, you just took flight, even if all you can do in this moment is crawl.
Earth Girl Rx 